Sunday, October 12, 2008

Dominick turns to ace up his sleeve for war on Gangs

Desperate times call for desperate measures for the Dominick administration, as the rising gang violence in Cicero seems to have no end in sight. Forget you read that last sentence because Cicero definitely has an end in sight or at the very least on the horizon. That is to say we can start calling Larry Dominick; Larry Magellan because the end of gang violence is certainly on the map (Probably).

What you see here is a picture of a man known only as Chuck, and he is the cure to the virus known as gang violence in the town of Cicero. Chuck loyally patrols the streets with his trusty musket until his legs can’t carry him any further. Crips, Bloods, Warriors, and Gramercy Riffs, all tuck their tail and run when they see Chuck marching down the street humming Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Larry Dominick has been pleased by the changes Chuck has brought about adding “Gang violence is down several percentages since Chucks’ been on board. I had my team of lawyers work long hours for many weeks sparing no expense and they came up with the following facts. Muskets and rapiers were the deadliest killers known to man for over a century. Since clothing often goes through a retro phase, we thought why not warfare. I am happy to inform that our administration has purchased its first cannon.”

Larry also added with glee “ The great thing about Chuck is he really believes its 1812 so we’re paying 1812 scale.”

It’s to early to call Chuck a success or failure right now, but its safe to say gang leaders are starting to take notice.

When asks his thoughts on Chuck patrolling the streets, Cyrus leader of the Gramercy Riffs had this to say “ I can’t dig it sucka”

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